the new life

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Dreams

OCt.27,2005 & OCt.30, 2005

Oct.25

nasa tapat daw ako ng madonna hall..

kinakanta ko dw ung "dahil wala ka na" ni nyoy volante

pagkakakanta ng" lahat ng oras ng mundo;y pagopapalit"

bigla kang sumulpotout of nowhere at idinugtong ung" sa isang minuto ng yong yakap na mahigpit..

tpos..inapiran mo ako sabay tingin sa mata ko..

Oct.30

ito na ata pinakamasamang panaginip ko..

si you know her dw, naanakan ni techie boy..

at nilayasan dw siya ni techie boy..

tpos,si bunot ang nanagot sa mga anak nya..

at pati si nikos..kampi sa kanila..

habangako,umiiyak sa sulok...nasasaktan ng sobra..

hay..bangungot nga naman..

(mixedmasks,9:50 PM)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

EMO"18-22 of October i have been sad these past few days..got used to straring blankly at any empty space i can see..i guess i feel the same way inside me...empty..yes..last tuesday...i got to be a bit near him again..until wednesday..and friday...he smiled at me..still it doesnt feel so real..i have been alone a lot of times this week..thinking of all the jokes of people that made me feel hurt..but they were not aware of it..thinking of all the things that are happening around me..and things that would happen..the prom that would happen after my birthday which would make me feel so lonely and heart broken again..oh..i'm so tired...if only someone cared to know..i'm tired of laughing to the point that i notice that all of it is fake..i'm tired of falling in and out of love again..i'm tired of trusting people..i'm tired of being alone...so much that it's as if..the pain could kill me..i'm tired of crying even though the tears couldn't erase in my mind that i'm so hurti'm tired of hoping and hoping until everythimg i dream of would just fall into pieces..

oh yes...I AM SO TIRED....tired of living inside this cold world that i can't see the sun shining aymore..all i want is to be happy..all i want is to wake up and to feel that i am loved...but i guess this is fate...i guess i need to wait for the sun to shine for me..so that someday....someday...every thing would be real and i could smile again...someday...someday..

(mixedmasks,2:03 AM)

"EMO"

18-22 of October

i have been sad these past few days..

got used to straring blankly at any empty space i can see..

i guess i feel the same way inside me...empty..

yes..last tuesday...i got to be a bit near him again..until wednesday..

and friday...he smiled at me..

still it doesnt feel so real..

i have been alone a lot of times this week..

thinking of all the jokes of people that made me feel hurt..but they were not aware of it..

thinking of all the things that are happening around me..

and things that would happen..

the prom that would happen after my birthday which would make me feel so lonely and heart broken again..

oh..i'm so tired...if only someone cared to know..

i'm tired of laughing to the point that i notice that all of it is fake..

i'm tired of falling in and out of love again..

i'm tired of trusting people..

i'm tired of being alone...so much that it's as if..the pain could kill me..

i'm tired of crying even though the tears couldn't erase in my mind that i'm so hurt

i'm tired of hoping and hoping until everythimg i dream of would just fall into pieces..

oh yes...I AM SO TIRED....tired of living inside this cold world that i can't see the sun shining aymore..

all i want is to be happy..all i want is to wake up and to feel that i am loved...

but i guess this is fate...i guess i need to wait for the sun to shine for me..

so that someday....someday...every thing would be real and i could smile again...

someday...someday..

(mixedmasks,1:42 AM)

Monday, October 17, 2005

Nothing's going right

10-17-05

ito a siguro ang isa sa pinakaemotional na araw ko..

lagi na lang 54 ang score ko sa exams..

badtrip na pimples na ayaw pa ring mawala..

dameng nang-inis,nagpaiyak at nanigaw sa akin..

at hanggang ngaun..ung mundo nmen ng mahal ko,magkaiba pa rin..

di ko na makitaang kagandahan ng buhay na naalala ko pa noon,..

bakit prang wala nang saysayang lahat..,.

walang dahilan para ngumiti..walang dahilan para isiping may halaga ako sa mundo

o sa isang nilalang man sa mundong kinabibilangan ko..

gusto ko nang wakasan ang lahat..

kung pwde nga lang...

(mixedmasks,8:05 PM)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

BALIK TANAW

Oct.10-16,2oo5

Simula ng HEll

10-10-05

first day na nman ng quarterly exmas kaya impyerno na nman..

pero wala na akong magagawa kundi mag-aral

Heaven and hell

10-11-05

second day ng exams pero ayus lang..

kse 5 beses syang dumaan ng masaya..harhar!

Sa wakas

10-12-05

at last, last day na..

pinansin nya akosa pila ng morning..ang saya2 noh?

tpos after exams, kahit umuulan ay tumuloy kme ng kada ko sa sm..

kasama ko si clara,nikos,tin2,annie at mark!

ayun.,tawanan at daldalan..

date pa kmeng 6 sa tokyo tokyo(35!)

tpos,pinagawa nmen pillow ni sir inacs at nanood kme ng sine na corpse bride

after nun ay naglibot kme pra sa jacket..

at pra sa damit ko..bwahahha..

natapos ang araw na may ngiti sa aming mga labi..

Bonding eklavu

10-13-05

(binigay na nmen ang gift nmen kay sir inacay)

ito ay qad nmen,morning ay intrams hanggang lunch yun..

kakakilig ang games dhel sa id at towel(sino at kanino un?sekreto!)

tpos bonding wid frends sa library at sa paglilibot..

afternoon ay music at eating bonding session wid madam and d rest of the class

tpos, may games pa na uubos kme ng coke..ang sket sa tiyan..

naaksidente rin ako sa floor

ang saya na rin ng klase nmen ngaun..bonded na tlga..

sna tuluy-tuloy na to..

last teens' day

10-14-05

teens day ngaun..

so morning,puro raffle lang at showcase of talents..

cute na nman ni bunot..(kakulay ng shirt nya ang font)

pero ang malungkot, la na nmang pansinan,kelangan ko na tlgang magmove on

nung breaktimes, kabonding ko si annie,lara,elle,fatsy at clara

nung afternoon, masaya dhel nanood kme ng windstruck sa audi(astig!)

pero ewan ko ba..tulala ako nung pauwi...ang lungkot ko na tlga..

prang sobrang pahiwatig na na kelangan ko syang alisin sa sistema ko..

hell part II

10-15-16-05

tong mga araw na ito ay ginugugol ko para sa lasalle..

na naging dahilan ng sakit ng ulo ko..

sna naman..nakapasa ako Lord..

(mixedmasks,7:42 PM)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

DYIP

10-13-05

akala ko ayos na ang lahat..

balik sa dating gawi..magkaibigan taong muli..

nagpansinan ng Miyerkules..

ayos lang nang Lunes at Martes..

masaya kang pumapasok, masaya ako para sayo..

pero di ko malaman kung bakit ganito..

pakiramdam ko, kelangan ko ng sagot sa mga katanungan sa utak ko..

kaya nang maiwanan akong tulala sa sasakyan..

sinubukan kong tumingin sa kawalan..

humingi ng senyales sa Diyos..

na kung mya dadaan na dyip na may apelyido mo..

nakalaan ka para sa iba...at kung di nman...may pag-asa pa ang puso kong tanga.,.

hayun nga ako..naghintay at nagmasid..

nagulat ako sa dumaan sa aking gilid..

tatlong bese pa nga..nakapinta ang iyong pangalan..

parang pinamumukha talagang ika'y dapat ko nang layuan..

alam ko weirdo man..pero ako'y naniwala..

kaya heto ako..umiiyak at nag-iisip..

paano ko lilimutin ang damdaming dala-dala ng apat na taon na..

napakahirap pero alam kong ito ang nararapat..

kung pwde nga lang mabuhay na di tumitibok ang puso..

ginawa ko na..para lang..

makawala ang puso kong di mo man hawak ay iyo na..

(mixedmasks,10:04 PM)

Friday, October 07, 2005

REMINISCE

October 7,2005

Birthday of Sir Inacay and his wedding anniv wid his wife

As of this time, I feel like I'm still in school

I'm down at the PE center..

spending my time with tha family that I missed for days that seemed like years

We were wth our father and we celebrated his birthday with him

There was the singing of the song,

the blowing of the candles

the speech of our dad and his "special son, MArk"

and lots and lots of laughters and sharing of food

That time, it's as if, time stood still for us..

Every minutes of sharing our lives was worth remembering

We told stories to each other

We laughed together..

ANd it was like bringing back the old days of 3- Masayahin

Still, we can;t stop time and 5' o clock came...

We ended our party with a prayer

That thought we wouldn't always be literally together

But I know that every memory we had

would keep our bind of love stay together forever...

-To SIr Inacay, you may never get the chance to read this..

I would also like to thank you for bringing something out of us

We love you sir, and we are your loving kids forever..

(mixedmasks,10:53 PM)