the new life

Saturday, November 26, 2005

TEARS and FEELIN' ALL GIDDY INSIDE

TEARS

11-25-05

this was a veyr tiring day for me..

we had a lot of tasks...we had our bataliion..

he made me feel he liked her instead of me again,,

ung tipong 2 seats across lang kme nung girl..

then when i looked at him..

he looked at her and he was looking where she was looking..

i'm teeling you..masakit talaga..

ang have you ever felt that feeling that

your mom is so regretful because you were born?

i felt that last night..

and that's what really made me cry...

ans sakit talaga sobra..

GIDDINESS

05-26-05

well..galing ako ng skul kanina..

at nakita ko si sum1 special..la lang..

then we went to regine's house..

kasama sila jelleeh..clara and rikka..

ang saya..walalang..we did some recordings..

kumain..nagkwentuhan at nanghiram ng dvds..

then umuwi..nagpapedicure..natulog and..

i ended up...watching princess diaries 2 tonight..

NAKAKAKILIG...sobra..la lang..

at may narealize ako....

i am not perfect but i can be perfected...

you don't have to look for love for it will find you..

and that person would come at the place and time..

(mixedmasks,11:34 PM)

Friday, November 18, 2005

HELL FROM THE START..HEAVEN IN THE END...

i woke up feelin very sleepy..

then i remembered it was my our doomsday in school..

and mine would be worse for he will go for their fieldtrip..

so i ate my breakfast feeling sick..but i ate it all anyway..

i went to school...feeling cold and giddy

and then i saw him smiling..

it felt soo good...

but then..he has to leave..

so i took a deep breath as i look at him..

and tried to smile thinking that he would enjoy his day..

then i was ready to face the greater challenge..

doomsday aka PTC

then just within a few minutes..

i found myself..sittin on my chair in our classroom..

looki intently at the "list"

and then.. I WAS STILL THERE..

and it felt good..

and until now..it is like a good dream..

i had one of the greatest days...talking with my friends..

smiling..wooooohooo...

ill keep this up..

thanks to God, my familia and fwends ...

for being there...

IT FEELS REALLY GOOD!!!

(mixedmasks,9:45 PM)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I'M HATING IT.

ever since the sembreak was over,

everyday seemed to be soo damn wrong...

too many requirements, fast lessons, hectic schedules and heck,

i don't even have time to reaaalllly relax and enjoy...or is it just that nowadays, i was not the same person that i was before..

i spent more time alone...less talk..less bonding..less happiness..

i can't fiure out what's wrong..

all i could think of was the moments that i want to cry to dissolve the burden..

yet, i don't have time to cry..

i hate it when i smile at the end of the day

even when i feel inside that everything is fake...

i hate how destiny happens...thinking if i could do something about it...

my mind is full full of questions left unanswered...

my heart is left with so much pain..and all i know is thata i'm hating the feeling...

I HATE IT.

(mixedmasks,10:11 PM)

I'M HATING IT.

ever since the sembreak was over,

everyday seemed to be soo damn wrong...

too many requirements, fast lessons, hectic schedules and heck,

i don't even have time to reaaalllly relax and enjoy...or is it just that , i was not the same person that i was before..

i spent more time alone...less talk..less bonding..less happiness..

i can't figure out what's wrong..

all i could think of were the moments that i want to cry to dissolve the burden..

yet, i don't have the time to cry..

i hate it when i smile at the end of the day

even when i feel inside that everything is fake...

i hate how destiny happens...thinking if i could do something about it...

my mind is full of questions left unanswered...

my heart is left with so much pain..and all i know is that i'm hating the feeling...

I HATE IT.

(mixedmasks,10:11 PM)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Away...

11-15-05

i thought, i'll be happy without him..

just to be with people who love me..

yet..my hope is falling into pieces..

all the pain is coming back to me..

the mightmare that haunts my highschool days...

i feel so isolated from them...

they are moving farther away from me...

and the reality is breakin' my heart into tears..

i feel so confused, so alone..

i know i may just be overreacting ...but i...don't know...

i guess i need to cope up with the world that is just filled up by my existence...

you may not know peeps...but it's killing me...

masayang araw..nakakabahala..

kasabay siyang naglalakad....habang ikaw,nagppaulan..

gusto man din kitang sabayan...baka ayaw mo naman..

hayy....madalas kausap siya...ikaw ang nasa utak..

hay...pusong tanga...nakakainis..

(mixedmasks,9:40 PM)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hapi moments!

Oct. 254,2005

last day na bago magsembreak nun..

sa quad kme ng morning..

tpos si bunot,namansin sa quad,habang sinasabi na ang pangit ng sa ap nmen..

makipagapir na fist closed sya sken..waahhh..

tpos sa audi..

tinginan lang chuva..tpos hanggang sa kinausap na nman nya ako sa chair habang nangaasar at sinsabi na extra sya..

tpos, sa backstage,nagasaran lang ulet na extra sya..

at sa corridor prang pinalo ko sya..

tpos, nung nsa stage ako,nsa floor sya,sinilip ko sya..

biglang kumaway..

haaayy...bait tla ni Lord,...ginawa nyang hapi sembreak ko..

Nov.8,2005

duty ako noon..

sa floor nmen..sa 2nd flr mo.ig building..

tpos...nakita ko..present na sya..!!

tpos umakyat sya sa stairs..sinilip ko...biglang kumawya at nagsmile..kkatunaw..

dumaan na nman sya para magcr..

pabalik..kinausap na ako at sinabing" wala akong id.."

pinansin ko..at sabi ko kung nakasulat na sya..

oo dw...e di..gudbye na sya ulet..waaaaaahh..ang saya!!!
nov.10,2005

woohooo!

uwian..late na sya umuwi..nsa quad pa sya.e naghi si mm kay bunot..

napahi na din ako..

wwaahhh..paulit-ulit syang kumaway!

so bait tlga!!!

(mixedmasks,9:56 PM)